I am sitting in my dining room in my house in Northampton Massachusetts. My bags are halfway unpacked, my brother just walked past me, my mom is five steps away from me in the kitchen, and tonight I am having a sleepover with one of my best friends, but I'm still asking myself, is this possible?
In some ways I feel like I have never left. Obviously everything is familiar, but the familiarity is a bit startling. After a year of expecting new things, coming back to a place where I know everything feels like a whole different kind of shock. When I arrived at the airport in Washington the first thing that felt strange was that everyone was speaking English. I hated the thought that my French would be of no use here... in Belgium every airport, train station, and even restaurant has three language options (French, Dutch, and English), and it felt extraordinarily strange to be somewhere where English was the only option. Things like paying with American dollars felt bizarre... however the sight of water fountains was an extremely pleasant surprise! (They don't exist in Europe).
After another hour long flight to Hartford, I stepped off the plane, walked through the airport, and saw my family. Seeing my parents was wonderful but not an extremely big deal, seeing as I had been with them six weeks prior. Seeing my brother after a year however, that was amazing. Coming home, being in my town, seeing some of my best friends, my pets, and my neighbors felt wonderful. My first day back home i went to town with my family, did some errands, unpacked some, saw a couple of friends, and walked my dog! Every once in a while I stop and say to myself "are you really back?" because it still feels so unreal.
The hardest part of the experience of going home was the leaving. Monday morning my host family drove me to the airport, and as we drove through what has become my town I couldn't stop the tears falling. Belgium was my home for a year, and even now I can't believe that I'm no longer there. At the airport were my two host families, Michelle, and two of my friends, Fanny and Claire. When i realized that I had done everything, found the gate, checked my baggage, the sharp reality of the goodbye sank into my body. It was a moment that I had thought about for awhile, but never thought would come. How could I go about saying goodbye to these people? My families, my friends, who had been with me from the start of my exchange? Who had taken me in with incredible kindness, how could I thank them? All I could do through my tears was hug, kiss, and quietly say "Merci pour tout". Walking away from them was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do. As that moment comes back into my mind tears come again, and the only solace that I have is I know that it is not the last time I will see them. In fact, I have plans to visit in February :)
My Aventure en Belgique is over now, but I know that my adventures and travels are far from over. While so much of this past week has felt like an ending, I know in my heart that it is only the ending to an even larger beginning. I discovered many things that I love this year, and just because my exchange is over in no way means that I'm letting my newfound passions go. This exchange was the best decision that I have ever made in my entire life, because even though there were tears, hard nights, confusion, and difficulties at times, there were a thousand more times laughter, smiles, discoveries, and nights that I will remember for the rest of my life. There was also this new feeling that I discovered: I like to call it The Best Feeling in the World. It's the feeling that I got when I saw the Colosseum for the first time, when I understood a joke in French for the first time, when I spoke publicly in front of my Rotary club in Belgium for the first time, and when I realized that I was doing exactly what I wanted to be doing in my life, and nothing more and nothing less.
In some ways I feel like I have never left. Obviously everything is familiar, but the familiarity is a bit startling. After a year of expecting new things, coming back to a place where I know everything feels like a whole different kind of shock. When I arrived at the airport in Washington the first thing that felt strange was that everyone was speaking English. I hated the thought that my French would be of no use here... in Belgium every airport, train station, and even restaurant has three language options (French, Dutch, and English), and it felt extraordinarily strange to be somewhere where English was the only option. Things like paying with American dollars felt bizarre... however the sight of water fountains was an extremely pleasant surprise! (They don't exist in Europe).
After another hour long flight to Hartford, I stepped off the plane, walked through the airport, and saw my family. Seeing my parents was wonderful but not an extremely big deal, seeing as I had been with them six weeks prior. Seeing my brother after a year however, that was amazing. Coming home, being in my town, seeing some of my best friends, my pets, and my neighbors felt wonderful. My first day back home i went to town with my family, did some errands, unpacked some, saw a couple of friends, and walked my dog! Every once in a while I stop and say to myself "are you really back?" because it still feels so unreal.
The hardest part of the experience of going home was the leaving. Monday morning my host family drove me to the airport, and as we drove through what has become my town I couldn't stop the tears falling. Belgium was my home for a year, and even now I can't believe that I'm no longer there. At the airport were my two host families, Michelle, and two of my friends, Fanny and Claire. When i realized that I had done everything, found the gate, checked my baggage, the sharp reality of the goodbye sank into my body. It was a moment that I had thought about for awhile, but never thought would come. How could I go about saying goodbye to these people? My families, my friends, who had been with me from the start of my exchange? Who had taken me in with incredible kindness, how could I thank them? All I could do through my tears was hug, kiss, and quietly say "Merci pour tout". Walking away from them was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do. As that moment comes back into my mind tears come again, and the only solace that I have is I know that it is not the last time I will see them. In fact, I have plans to visit in February :)
My Aventure en Belgique is over now, but I know that my adventures and travels are far from over. While so much of this past week has felt like an ending, I know in my heart that it is only the ending to an even larger beginning. I discovered many things that I love this year, and just because my exchange is over in no way means that I'm letting my newfound passions go. This exchange was the best decision that I have ever made in my entire life, because even though there were tears, hard nights, confusion, and difficulties at times, there were a thousand more times laughter, smiles, discoveries, and nights that I will remember for the rest of my life. There was also this new feeling that I discovered: I like to call it The Best Feeling in the World. It's the feeling that I got when I saw the Colosseum for the first time, when I understood a joke in French for the first time, when I spoke publicly in front of my Rotary club in Belgium for the first time, and when I realized that I was doing exactly what I wanted to be doing in my life, and nothing more and nothing less.
I am eternally grateful to so many people for this experience, I don't think that all of the the thank you's in every language repeated 100 times would suffice. And thank you to those who have read this blog, whether it was just once, from time to time, or every post. This is the end of my Belgium Blog, but who's to say that I won't start another one day?